Good by to Playgroups for now...

Hello everyone

Lots of changes have been happening, and though I didn't think this would ever happen while my children are young it has. For the time being, I won't be participating, let alone running playgroups.

Let's just say life threw me a bunch of curves, and I'm just not able to deal with it all.

Either way, I hope to return to playgroups one day. Until then, enjoy what is here, and feel free to ask me for my thoughts or advice on certain issues. I'd be glad to give you help in anyway.

Christmas Light Hunt!

This is really something you should plan far in advance, but hey! It's an idea to dream about for next year. Last week at MOPS we talked about finding good nieghborhoods of Christmas Displays. I wish I had brought my notebook and pen, because I would have written down every street mentioned that day!

Thankfully, my local newspaper gathers information and pictures for me, but for you guys; looks like you're on your own. However, if you are looking for a fun family event to do with your group consider doing a Christmas Light Hunt.

I'm planning to do this next year, so of course; my idea might need fine tuning. ;0)

1. Map out places you know will be good, and determine a place for the families to meet up. A good idea might be Mc Donalds with a playplace that way the families can have dinner together first. This is something you might want to start doing now; write down displays you see this year for next year's tour.

2. Be sure to pack walkie talkies. This way each family can stay in their own van (car, SUV, whatever) and head home when the time is right for them.. But everyone is still conversing with each others over the 'magic'.

3. Take a tour. Choose someone to be the 'leader' and follow the map.

Can you imagine, not having to 'unload and reload' your children for this event? hehehe~ if you happen to have that magical Dvd player too, you can watch christmas movies inbetween the "oooos' and "awwws"....

Olive branches do not grow on trees.

Here's a shocker. I have experienced several episodes of drama. *gasp* I've extended olive branches to particular cases, and there is often times I wish I could have the oppertunity to extend it to more people I've butted heads with. So, I am going to tell you about the skill and knowledge I know about growing olive branches and extending them to those who (let's face it) you'd probably rather not.

The biggest thing I've found that allows an olive branch to grow is understanding. I have a few organizers that I've had problems with. I feel that for the most part, they have made an unfair judgement about me and never really gave me a chance. BUT I also sympathize for them. I realize it takes two to tango and there are things I could have done differently.

One boy in high school (who has probably forgotten all about me by now!) left me with a quote once that I've never forgotten. I told him that I was angry at someone and he struck back saying: "For being human?" He said it as a joke, but I took it seriously ever since. Everybody is human, and we all make mistakes. We are suppose to. Knowing this it makes it easier to forgive.

The last thing I'm going to leave you with is a lesson I've heard about since I was a small child, but I really didn't understand it until I was older. One of my favorite stories growing up was Anne of Green Gables series. In the book (movie as well), Anne who has a stubborn side to her refuses to make an apology to the town gossip, nosey nancy : Rachel Lynd.

As a result Marilla, the adoptive parent of Anne, threatens to take Anne back to the orphanage if she would not apologize to her.  But Matthew (marilla's brother and Anne's other adoptive parent) consoles her and manages to persaude her to apologize. "You don't have to be really sorry, just sorta sorry."

OK. I know it's a better vertue to be geniuine in your apology but there are plenty of times I had to make apologies for things that are not even in my control.  Usually I emphasize "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" because no matter what I did, I can garentee there is not a bone in me that would ever want someone to experience a unintended negative feeling; even my worst enemy.

The positive thing that I can tell you is that if you are able to exchange olive branches, do not cast the olive branch out once your nieghbor leaves. Plant it back in your heart and continue to nuture it so it can grow. I have one person who has reentered in my life that I thought would never be good friends with me. Surprisingly, life has changed and I find myself needing her more than ever. She may not be my best friend but I think we were meant to find each other. What a tradgey it would have been had we not allowed our olive branches grow into a tree of frienship.

Happy Wenesday!

Hello friends!

For the past days I've been enjoying my holiday time with family and I'm not planning to return to blogging for a while. Without going into details I have some things going on that are distracting me, and I just can't get the motivation to write. I'll be back, but not sure when.

Crystal

Wordless Wenesday; Cookie Turkeys!

Haven't Forgot!

Hey all......

You have not been forgotten. My family had an episode of the sickies and many things have been going on. This weekend I will be reloading with new blog posts so just stay tuned!

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Craft Idea Cooki turkeys!

So this one is pretty easy! We used frosting to hold it all together.

2 fudge stripes cookies
1 cordial cherry chocolates
1 candy corn


Kids can easily put them together and since it's all food, even little ones can attempt to create turkeys! Pictures coming later on today!

Wordless Wenesday!

From our Pottery Handprint event!

Can't Leave Home? Time for a confrence!

So I've found that sometimes our leader meetings just don't work. Face to face meetings are always the best, but when push comes to shove-- sick kids, vacations, etc. Phone conferences are the way to go!

If you have long distance, you can create a free confrence call through many websites (Check out Rondee.com ) . Most of them you have to register, then you can set up a phone call day and time, and invite your participants.

I had to do this very thing sometimes.

Happy Organizing!

Message Board Games

One of the things that's great about an online community that meets offline. We have the advantage of the calendar, photos, and message boards. The message board is a great way to break the ice, get to know members, and have a lot of fun!

Here are some games to help get your message board going!


Shag or Die
Pick a man, if you were faced with the choice of either 'shagging or dying' which would you do? The fun part is trying to find those "iffy" guys.

player 1: Chevy Chase?

player 2: Shag...i guess if I want to live........Brad Pitt?



The person under me

Player one: "The person under me needs to do the dishes"

Player two: "That's me, they'll probably be done tomorrow......the person under me loves the smell of vanilla"


Player three: "ME!! Vanilla and Almonds!.......the person under me plays the guitar."



Three things about me



This game you list three things about yourself and the next person responds has to pick something they have in common with them.


Player 1;
Three things about me:
1. I don't smoke

2. I love music

3. I have three siblings.



Player 2:
1. I love music

2. I have one daughter.

3. My bathroom theme is rubber ducks.



Player 3:
1. I have one Daughter

2. I don't pay the babysitter (The Tv)

3. I love pastries....



One Letter Game



*you need one four letter word. The nest poster takes that word and changes one letter to make it a different word.





Player one:

Take



Player two:

Make



Player three:

Mane



Player four:



Cane



Association Game
*you give one word, the next poster says the first thing they can think of.



Example:



player one:
Cat



Player two:
Dog



Player three:
Bark


from Kara, of military Mammaz in Tucson, Az

One of our most participated was the Alphabet game. You pick a topic and the group has to go A-Z on that topic.

We used ice cream flavors for our first go around because so many of our moms had talked about having a sweet tooth.

Player 1: Almond

Player 2: Buttered Pecan


We had a bunch of people goggling for the hard to find letters like Q. Several name brands have "old flavor" lists where we got a lot of our answers.


Anybody have games they'd like to share?

Wordless Wenesday: Play at the Mall!

Be sure to submit a series of photos from one of your recent playgroups to be featured on Wordless Wenesday!

Painting the Town Playgroup Style!

Do you remember the excitement of riding in the car on the way to zoo when you were a child? Was there a special place that your parent's or your school would make a trip to? There are alot of local attractions just waiting to be visited! Your playgroups do not have to be limited to your home! Check your phone book under the categories Attractions, or Children's or Entertainment , and you may stumble on local resources you didn't know about. Ask around from your members about fun places they go. Then call and ask the facility about having an event there! Things you'll need to know:


◦The capacity of the space if you will be secluded to one room
◦The price of admission, parking, etc.
◦Discounts if they are available
◦Operation days and hours
◦Ask about having a private play date at the facility
◦If food is allowed
◦What you are required/ or suggested to bring
Once you have a good idea about the venue, plan your event. You may want to coordinate it with the facility. By doing so, you can avoid a lot of potential problems. Some of the most common problems are

◦members getting lost or not finding the group
◦the staff of the facility being unprepared for the extra boost in attendance that day
◦The facility being closed due to operation changes, weather, or high attendance (facility gets filled)

With just a little bit of organization and a lot of researching (especially if you live in a small town), you'll find places to go without long travel. We'd love to hear about the places you've discovered (pictures too!) Send them in!

No Playgroup Junkies Allowed

Once again, time to get opinionated. My never ending search for anything related to playgroups has found me deep in thought. I came across a group who has an awesome info page. The page clearly stated what a membership and who should be a member.

No playgroup junkies....it reads.........wait a minute.........did I read that right?! Apparently they believe that playgroup junkies are not the proper 'material' for their group. Now I understand the theory in this.....If you are a playgroup junkie (which means you belong to several groups in the area) you are less likely to have time to commit to another group..but you know how I like to play devil's advocate.
 
I've been a huge supporter of the idea that there are never enough playgroups, and there is no such thing as a perfect playgroup for everyone.  This group's purpose is to create a tight knit group of like minded families. They don't want a member coming to say...one playgroup a month and never making a deeper connection with the other members. It's HARD to make a connection with someone you only see a few hours out of the month!
 
So, no playgroup junkies allowed.
 
But here's where I play devil's advocate. Maybe this person is a playgroup junkie because they haven't found the group that fits them yet; could the perfect playgroup be yours? Well, I guess you wouldn't know if you don't allow playgroup junkies. What are they suppose to do: leave the groups they already are finding a place in, just because you want full committment from them? Do you realize what a turn off that is?
 
Let's not forget that playgroup junkies also are PROVEN to love playgroups. Why else would be members of so many groups? What kind of potential does that kind of love have? An active member. A resource of ideas. A volunteer..a leader.

All I'm trying to say if you are going to limit your membership (which you should!) make sure you explore all the possibilities of who that excluded someone could be when they do join. Granted that mom who joined last month whom I had a no so great feeling about has yet to be active. But whos knows...even though my first impressions was spot on, that doesn't mean she couldn't have been my next best friend. She still can be.

I just found that this requirement (IMO) contradicted the very thing they were asking for. Maybe they should have put : WANTED: Playgroup Junkie Wannabes. Perhaps that would have been more clear.

Do you allow playgroup junkies in your group? What do you want from your members?

Playgroup Leader Etiquette

Emily Post would not be proud. My playgroup Etiquette did not come from her book.... I learned it the hard way, and still continue to learn. In fact, I find Emily's books extremely boring,  no matter how important I feel the information is inside.

For sake of being Etiquette incorrect on my opinions, I have found the most organizers do not feel comfortable with other playgroup organizers in their own group; especially if they are operated on the same website. 

You could ask why; but to me it's obvious; fear of competition. Is she joining to steal my members? Advertise her group? Steal my ideas?

Well, I'm not going to get into why I think this 'fear' is ridiculous (I'll cover that later), but here is etiquette for those of you who may not have realized that yes, Houston, there is etiquette for us organizers.

1. Never Copy ANY content verbatim. In fact, avoid copying as much as possible. If you have to copy, ask first.  Which leads me to number two:

2. Don't be possessive. Guess what? Great minds think alike. No you were not the 'first' one to think of doing a playgroup at the fire station, or signing your group up for a kindermusik class. That boudoir Mom's Night Out idea you had? Been there, done that. Get over it.  If they really did 'steal' it from you; your group members will know it. You have nothing to worry about.

3. Do not join for sole purpose of promoting yours. It's just not cool.

4. Respect the organizers. Not everyone will organize in the same way and you will not be happy with some of the choices they make. That doesn't mean that they are wrong. I cannot stress how disrespectful it is to criticize some one's else group when you run one yourself; would you want them criticizing yours?

5. If you are going to share events, make sure you are really sharing. Even if it is a 'public event' like a stroller walk, it does not mean you should meet up at the same day and time without letting the other organizer know.  There is too many bad outcomes that can come from this (and that is a completely different subject!). Keep up with communication with that organizer. Be in communication.

So that's it! Be thoughtful of other organizers and you'll have some strong allies by your side when the going gets tough.

I am a VECDCS

Yesterday, I got to hang out one of our local TV new stations. I got to see the control room, the studio, I even accidentally (yes it was an accident) got of TV! I met the producers, the director, the camera guys, the graphics guy and the reporters too! Of course, you know me: the entire time I was there I was hoping there is would a clear cut opportunity to get them to do a story on the group.

But since I like to be etiquettly correct; I didn't breathe a word of it. However, I was hoping it would come up. I even had a plan.

I figured that somebody at the station would have asked me what I did for a living. I refused to tell them that I am a stay at home mom: Despite how much I value being one, I also understand how undervalued my status is at this day and age is from certain perspectives. So instead, I've chosen a title for myself.

I am a

Volunteer : What I do with my time is volunteer. I schedule events, I meet people, I direct people, but all this is volunteering.

Early Childhood Development: Duh. What part of my day doesn't involve early childhood development?

Community Specialist: I specialize in creating a community of moms in our area. I mean that is what a playgroup is, right?!

I wanted to give it a special name because I know it will attract interest. There was only one problem with my plan; no one asked me what I did for a living. My group never came up and most of the time I spent sitting in a chair silently, while everyone went busily about their day. But it's OK. I know I'll get another chance. The volunteer Early Childhood Development Community Specialist in me knows it.

What do you do for a living?

Wordless Wenesday: Halloween Photos

So I'm stealing an idea; I saw it on a photographer's website and had to take it! You know a picture says a thousand words, so here are our pictures from some of the halloween events this past October!

Do you have pictures of your group you would like to share? Send them to meetupdiva@gmail.com

Operation Christmas Child

So last week I introduced the adopt a family program; a program that will allow your group to 'adopt' a family. It's a close personal act of charity because you can see who it effects.  Personally it's charities like these that keep me going because I can see the appreciation; something I know as a mother I sometimes lack in my own household.

A few days ago, Stacie at The Amazing Mess wrote about a charity call Operation Christmas Child.

This is not the first time I've heard of the charity; however, this was the first time I really found out what it was.

This charity works better for my group because it makes it very accessible. Simply set up a play date to do the 'shoebox'. Stacie took it one step further. She included her address. The recipient actually responded! My guess is most would. Those who take the time to appreciate the small things usually don't have much;  and that is who you are reaching here.

So I'm taking on this charity instead this year. Play date at my house; everybody bring a shoebox items to fill it and their $7 (or more donation) to the charity (covers shipping), and I'll buy other items (extra envelopes, stamps, paper). Or people can go in on a shoe box together as well.

I'll give you updates on this project if I can! Tell me about your charities, I would love to feature them as well!

Discriminating? Or Exclusive?

An organizer made a mistake. A big mistake. "We're sorry to discriminate, but...." read the introduction prargraph of an online article about a group denying a stay at home dad membership to their playgroup. Whether or not that is what the infamous email read, it was the wrong way to put it.

Let me become Mr. Webster for a second.

Discriminate : a difference in treatment or favor on a basis other than individual merit

OK. Pperhaps they were discriminating. But isn't discrimination wrong? hmmm......

Let's say I'm going to a movie. I wanna invite someone. I choose a friend. Wait! did I just Discriminate? Maybe a neighbor I haven't met yet would like to go to a movie with me. OH darn...I just did it again. I forgot to ask my sister; who lives in Canada; so I'd have to wait until she could afford to visit me. Now I'm discriminating because of distance. Or is that because of income?

Back to being Mr. Webster.

Exclusive: excluding or having power to exclude

Yeesh....actually, I like the word discriminate better when it's put like that.

So, yes, I discriminate Dads from my playgroup. I am not ashamed. But I never use that particular word.  I  hope by putting this thought out there it will encourage other leaders to make discriminating choices. Why? Because when you do, you are filling a niche. Perhaps a mom is looking for moms with babies the same age as hers. Maybe you want to connect with Latin mothers.

Only child...
girls/boys only..
adopted children...
premature babies...
first time parents...
single parents....
young/older parents..
working moms...
at home dads...
homeschooling...
ethnic...
religious..
special needs....

The list doesn't end. The point is, by separating yourself in a niche you are free to express yourself on those issues which you might otherwise be uncomfortable expressing to others about..

So, discriminate away my friends.

How long does it take to get a group going?

I'm not gonna sugar coat it for ya. Getting a group going can be really tough.....or it can be really easy. Sometimes there are things out of your control fixing it to be easy or hard.

Location: You'll have better chance if your community has a large amount of stay at home moms. This could be effected by many other things, but you can always research the area, and see what statistics there are.

How you advertise: If you know me, I would say word of mouth is your best method. Carren Joye's Book, A Stay At Home Mom's Complete Guide To Playgroups, explains that the Internet will not get you many playgroup members. That may have been true when the book was first published (over ten years ago), but with places like meetup.com, or cafemom, I've had the most luck with them. My second source is Craigslist. So there you go. Majority of my members (90 or so) have come from the Internet.

Time of year: Meetup.com's CEO Scott Hieferman once wrote that people flock to social groups the most often after labor day. This is true. In my opinion the best time to start a playgroup is in the Fall, or Spring. Summer is taken away with vacations, and outdoor activities and school ages being home. Winter is overtaken by the holidays.

In my personal experience, it takes about two- three months to be satisfied with how successful your playgroup is going. The routine of getting out the house has to become routine. Once it does, it will feel successful.

How long did it take before you felt your group was "going"?

Should Snacks be allowed at playgroups?

Nothing brings together groups of people like food. It's something we all need, want, and can enjoy it too!!! Does that mean we should include a snack in a playgroup?

It can depend on several things:

Time: Is it a natural part of the day where snack would be offered? It's recommended that children about 1 yr have two snacks a day; one in the morning and one in the afternoon. But if it is too close to lunch time, you may want to consider offering lunch instead.

Place: Is the place you are visiting snack friendly? Parks are snack friendly, but you may not be allowed to bring snacks into the zoo.

Cost: Snacks don't have to be costly. One mom can supply crackers and juice, or muffins and milk, etc. Sometimes hosts will serve a more elaborate spread, but it doesn't have to be the case.

Snacks are perfect when you are trying to gather everyone up to end a playdate, or transition to a table activity; or just refill the children with some energy. When have you had snacks at a playgroup? How has it gone over? Anything you would do differently?